Frequently Asked Questions
What happens when a birth mother
first contacts your agency?
We assign a friendly, caring, experienced counselor to you who is available 24 hours a day and who will help you decide if adoption is right for you.
What if I can't travel to your agency?
We don't expect you to. Our counselors will travel to a place in your neighborhood where you feel comfortable meeting.
Can I speak with other women
who are in the same position I am?
Yes. We offer birth parents the opportunity to speak with someone who has placed a baby for adoption on a one-to-one basis.
Do I have to pay any money to your agency?
Not at all. All services are free of charge.
Can I participate in the selection
of an adoptive family for my family?
Yes. We would be glad to tell you about families who are waiting to adopt a baby.
What kind of contact can I
have with the adoptive family?
You can meet them in person, speak to them over the telephone, get letters from them and receive pictures of your growing baby.
What if I don't want to select a family for my baby and do not want any contact after my baby is placed?
That is fine. We respect and support whatever decision you make.
How can I know that the family who
adopts my baby will be loving and caring?
We carefully screen families who wish to adopt. All must have criminal history and child abuse clearances, letters of reference, medical reports and a current home study so that your child will grow up in a secure, loving home.
What if I decide not to place my baby
for adoption after working with you?
We are not here to pressure you. We are here to be supportive of you no matter what you decide. We will provide you with reading materials to help you sort out your feelings and our counseling services are available to you whether you decide to place your baby or not.
Will Transitions work with me?
Yes. We believe all birth mothers have the right to participate in the adoption process regardless of their race, lifestyle, or religion.
Decisions To Consider
When you consider adoption, there are many decisions
you will be asked to make. Here are some of them:
Do you want to see the baby after it is born?
Do you want to know the sex of the baby?
Do you want to be on the same floor of the hospital as the baby?
Do you want to visit the baby in the nursery?
Do you want the baby in your hospital room?
Do you want to name the baby?
Do you want to feed the baby?
Do you want to meet the adoptive family?
Do you want to receive letters and pictures of the baby?
It is very normal to experience a wide range of feelings before, during, and after placing a baby for adoption. Some of the feelings you may have are:
Parting with a baby is a very painful experience. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t feel some grief. Know that if you are tearful or hurting, this is normal. Believe it or not, if you let yourself experience the sadness, it can help you come to peace with yourself down the road. Just because you are feeling sad doesn’t mean you didn’t make the right decision for you and your baby.
This is one of the hardest feelings to experience because it makes you feel like a bad person. Just try to remember that if others are making you feel lousy about your decision, they don’t know what it is to walk in your shoes every day. Remember that you are making a very loving decision, and doing what you feel is in the best interest of your child. You are making sure your baby has a good life. It takes a good person to do that.
Whenever we find ourselves in a situation that is painful we look for reasons why we got there. This leads us to think of people who contributed to our problems. For example, many women are angry at the men who made them pregnant, and then didn’t stand by them through the pregnancy. Some of us are angry at family and friends who weren’t there for us when we needed them. Anger can also be sparked by those who say things that make us feel worse, instead of better. It’s important to try to talk the anger out with someone who supports you, and who will listen to you. Transitions’ staff has often been the shoulder women have leaned on when feeling angry. Just know the anger will pass, and you will be able to move on with your life.
Believe it or not, it is possible to feel some measure of peace after placing a child for adoption. This does not mean you will ever forget your child. You will carry your child in your heart forever. But, as time goes on, and you move on with your life, you will come to see that what you did was make a loving decision for your child. Some birth mothers use our counseling services extensively to talk out their feelings. Receiving letters and pictures from the adopting family can make birth parents feel better. Others do not wish to receive them. Again, there is no one right way of achieving peace with yourself. Just know it will happen a little bit at a time.
Click here to read some poems from birth mothers >>