Placing A Child For Adoption May Be More Familiar Than You Think

Many of the woman we work with say they do not know anyone who has adopted, and do not know anyone who has placed a baby for adoption.  If you are considering placing a child for adoption, the concept may be more familiar to you than you think. When I start to ask an expectant mother questions about her life and how she was raised, I often hear that an extended family member raised her. Sometimes it is a grandmother, aunt, or uncle. Sometimes it is a close friend of the family or a neighbor.  Well, it doesn’t take long for an expectant mother to realize that she does in fact know more about adoption more than she thinks. This is because these situations are informal kinship situations that look more like adoption without an actual formal adoption occurring.  It is then that an expectant mother can start to visualize what adoption would be like for them and their child.  They or someone they know well, often had a positive experience growing up in the home of someone other than their biological parent.  That feels comfortable and familiar even if adoption by name doesn’t. Often they or someone they know still considers the person that raised them as a parent figure in their life. They feel warmth, love, connectedness, belonging, in that home and family...all the things you want a child to have. If life is complicated for you right now, and perhaps for whatever the reason, you aren't feeling like you are able to provide the life for your child that you hope he or she will have, adoption can be something that you may want to consider. Sometimes you may have a friend of family member's support to help you raise your child, even if the birth father is not offering support. We'll talk more in a future blog post about all the feelings you may be feeling right now as you find yourself pregnant and your life not the way you envisioned it when you were about to become a mother. But most of all we want you to know that adoption may be more familiar than you think, and even if it's not, we can walk you through what adoption looks like. Maybe it's right for you and your child, maybe it's not. Only you can decide that. In the meantime, we are here to listen and answer your questions and help you feel familiar with adoption, wherever your path ultimately takes you.